Even If

Have you ever watched a couple slow dance at a wedding and felt your heart ache a little? Or seen a friend get engaged and thought, "Wow, I wonder if I’ll ever have that too?" I’ve definitely been there. I find myself smiling at love stories—sweet moments where someone surprises their partner with flowers, or they lock eyes across a room—and then quietly wonder, "Will that ever be my story?"

My grandparents dancing at my sister's wedding

It’s not bitterness. It’s not envy. It’s just that longing—that soft ache for love that so many of us carry in our hearts.

And that’s where the “what if” thoughts start to creep in. "What if I never meet someone who will love me like that?"

At first, those questions feel like you’re being honest with yourself or just thinking ahead. But if you peel back the layers, they’re often rooted in fear, not faith. Here’s a truth that’s been helping me:

Fear says “what if”

Faith says “even if”

(stolen from my pastor who probably saw it somewhere)

This blog is all about that shift—how we can stop spiraling in fear and start standing in faith.

Let’s talk about the “what if” trap. These thoughts seem small and harmless at first. Sometimes they even sound responsible, like we’re just planning ahead or being wise.

But if we’re honest, they often sound like this:

What if...

I never get married?

I chose the wrong career path and can’t change now?

I’m too much or not enough for someone to love me?

Those aren’t thoughts rooted in wisdom. They’re fear dressed up like preparedness. And they quietly build anxiety in our hearts.

“What if” thinking keeps us looking over our shoulders or staring too far into the future. It keeps us bracing for disappointment instead of walking in peace. And worst of all, it slowly chips away at our trust in God.

Here’s the hard truth: our “what ifs” expose where we don’t fully trust God.

Ouch, right?

But it’s true. When I constantly ask, "What if I never find love?", I’m really saying, "I’m not sure God will provide someone for me." Or when I ask, "What if I miss my chance?", I’m saying, "Maybe God’s timing isn’t trustworthy."

Scripture gently confronts this. Proverbs 3:5–6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.” And Matthew 6:25–34 reminds us not to worry about tomorrow because God already knows what we need.

My friend pondering the beauty of the newly blossomed roses

So, take a moment and ask yourself:

What are the “what ifs” I keep replaying? And what do they reveal about how I see God?

It’s not to make you feel guilty—it’s to open your heart to healing.

This is where things get hopeful.

“Even if” is the mindset of surrender. It’s not about giving up your desires. It’s about holding them with open hands and saying, “Lord, I trust You no matter what.”

The Bible gives us beautiful examples of this kind of faith:

In Daniel 3:17–18, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego face a fiery furnace. They say, “The God we serve is able to save us... but even if He does not, we will not bow.”

And in Job 13:15, Job declares, “Though He slay me, yet will I hope in Him.”

That’s what trust looks like.

In our modern lives, it might sound like this:

Even if I never get married, I will still believe God is good.

Even if the timeline doesn’t match my expectations, I know He hasn’t forgotten me.

Even if I feel lonely at times, I will keep worshiping and walking forward.

“Even if” doesn’t erase the desire. It just places it in God’s hands, where it’s safest.

So how do we make this shift from fear to faith in everyday life? Here are some practical steps:

1. Pray your fears honestly. God doesn’t need polished prayers. He wants your real ones. Talk to Him about what scares you, what hurts, what you hope for.

2. Replace “what if” thoughts with truth. When fear creeps in, remind yourself: God is not withholding good from me. He is working in ways I can’t see.

3. Practice gratitude and worship. Even when things feel uncertain, look for what’s good. Praise shifts your focus from fear to faith.

4. Surround yourself with faith-filled people. Find women who speak life, who believe with you and for you. We need each other.

5. Write “even if” declarations. This has been huge for me. One of mine is:“Even if I don’t get married in the timing I want, I thank God for the work I get to do for Him right now—without compromise, with full freedom.”

Write your own.

Stick them on your mirror.

Speak them over your life.

The truth is, we don’t know how our stories will unfold. But we do know who’s writing them.

Fear says, "What if it all falls apart?" Faith says, "Even if things don’t go the way I planned, God is still faithful."

Me looking out over the city from Lotte Tower

He sees every tear, every hope, every quiet prayer. And He hasn’t forgotten you.

Not for a second.

So instead of asking, "What if I’m still single next year?", ask yourself, "Even if I am, will I still trust God?" And let your answer be a resounding YES!!

Let’s encourage each other in the comments.

What’s one “what if” thought you’ve had lately? Rewrite it as an “even if” declaration and share it below. Let’s speak faith into each other’s futures. You're not alone, and your love story—whatever it looks like—is still in the hands of a faithful God.